Thursday, 14 July 2016

Puppy vs Girlfriend

My best friend just got a puppy. He’s a little shit. An adorable little shit, but a little shit nonetheless.
The above picture was taken during the 0.04% of the day
where he was actually calm

My dog, Millie, who I love and adore so very much, is four years old and I had forgotten just how much work a puppy is. And strangely I thought, so is having a girlfriend.

Whilst getting angry at Hugo, my friend’s puppy, for craving so much attention and being just generally annoying, I realized that I have most likely come across to other people the same way. In fact, I think a lot of girls do.

Then I began listing points in my head at how having these two different things, a puppy and a girlfriend, are quite similar.

Number One: puppies need a lot of attention. When left alone or abandoned, they often get very upset and may even cry. Girlfriend’s need a lot of attention.

Number Two: puppies love belly rubs. Girlfriend’s love belly rubs.

Number Three: if you have something, the puppy must also have it. This is mostly so with food, but need I say more?

Number Four: your puppy has the entire other half of the bed but it only wants the half that you're on?
Number Five: puppy's leave a trail of mess behind them, from ripped up toys, socks to wet puddles. Similarly, girlfriend's will leave a trail of bobby pins and make up in their wake.
Number Six: they're always hungry.
Number Seven: they're both great for cuddling.
Number Eight: they both shed a shitload of hair.
In conclusion, puppy's are not very different from girlfriends. So, if you're feeling lonely, you might as well just get a puppy. Plus, they don't complain nearly half as much as a girlfriend so that definitely deserves some points.

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