A Beautiful Catastrophe

 Life has not been easy recently, guys. A break up, family conflicts, and a complete reviewing of thy self leading to difficult but necessary realisations. 

Not to mention the delusions where i thought my ex boyfriend and I were going to get together. 

Yeah it hasn’t been easy. 

But if I’ve learnt anything in my still short life, it is that the best times came from not so great times. Everything happens for reason. You just need to ride the wave out and see where it takes you. So, that’s what I’m doing. Quite literally actually as I have just taken up surfing. 

As hard as it is now, I will be grateful; not only for where life takes me, but for how life changed me. I’m already becoming a kinder person, on myself especially. 

I’ve realised that I have almost always been in a relationship. I guess because I took love from others as a sense of self validation and worthiness. My childhood had rendered feelings of being unloved, and it continues to be a prominent fear of mine. My fears weren’t wrong. But I realise now that I was searching for it in other people, when really I need to give it to myself. So that’s what I’ve been doing. And although I may feel lonely, I’ve never felt more whole.