Wednesday, 23 December 2015

My Conclusion of 2015

It was a big year. Then again, when is it never a 'big year'?

2014 was a year of ambivalence; of feeling happy, free and excited yet depressed, sad and hopeless. And although it was a year where so much had happened, where I began to really find myself and made relationships that have continued to influence and have an impact on my life, I'm glad 2015 was not the same.

The residue of how I felt in 2014 still followed me into the new year, affecting me and my actions quite negatively but with the help of my partner, the thoughts that used to dwell in my mind have gone and contentment has once again found solitude in my heart.
2015 is the year where I got a taste of money, as well as the real life. It's also the year where I found that an office job is not for me, and where I truly began to take my writings seriously. It's the year where I found myself even more, where I can be happy and actually enjoy being on my own without the help of alcohol or other substances.

It was a year of reflection; reflection of some of the most significant events in my entire life where I have then learnt not only so much about myself, but of my friends and family. Some of the perceptions I was leading of particular people have now been questioned and I see things so differently but have found understanding too.

Overall, it was a challenging year, and not at all how I had expected. I expected clubbing every weekend, taking advantage of being an eighteen year old girl, of getting up to mischief and being reckless but instead I grew a hell of a lot up. I took to my thoughts and trusted my instincts and in conclusion, have reflected, learnt and comprehended so much.

I have no idea what to expect for next year. No one ever can. Things can change as quickly as February. But that's the exciting part.
I used to hate change. No, despised it. I like to have expectations and I like my expectations met and if there was any real challenge I had to face this year, it was accepting disappointment and learning to not get my hopes up.

But I realise now that's all okay. Something else came out of it all. And I'm sure next year will be the same.

My sister and I

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