Thursday, 10 December 2015

The Key to Relationships (in my opinion)

I don't know the secrets to relationships. I don't really know how to impress a guy or get them to stay around. I'm as blind as anyone else, trying to avoid hidden land mines or bottomless pits. Besides, every relationship is different.

But if I have learned anything, and this I truly believe, that the hardest relationships are the ones that begin perfectly. They rarely last. 

Because let's face it, perfection isn't real. It's a facade people put on to impress one another. And at first it's fine. 'Perfect' should I say. But what happens when the 'cupcake phase' ends? What happens when people get lazy and their facade starts to slip? Or when their flaws are revealed or it starts getting tough? The realisation that your relationship or that person wasn't as perfect as you were lead to believe can often hurt more than the break up itself. These relationships, as perfect as they seemed are a lie. 

I'm not sure how to avoid this. Sometimes people can't help falling in love so irrationally. Perhaps that is where our walls come in; to protect us from the illusion that compels us. 

My best bet would be to take things slow. Get to know the good and the bad of the person you're giving your heart to. Because relationships aren't just us about seeing only the good in each other, it's about seeing the bad and loving them anyway. 

Now, I think I'll talk this as an opportunity to appreciate my other half. We weren't perfect for each other in the beginning, not at all. We clashed, annoyed each other and sometimes argued. But we saw potential in each other for something great. 23 months later we have grown, 'evolved' you might say. We become more 'perfect' for each other as times goes on. Through the good and the bad, his asshole moments and my bitchy mood swings. 

I'm still blind, avoiding land mines and bottomless pits, but I know if I did blow up or fall into darkness, he'll be there, catching me or picking up my pieces, no matter how ugly it got. And this I believe is key.

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