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Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Fear of Losing Someone

In a relationship, particularly in the beginning, you usually feel fear of losing the other. Perhaps this is why we try so hard to impress them. Why we are so affectionate towards them. Why we go out of our way to keep them around.
Then at some point, the fear dissolves away. We realise they're going to stay. We reveal ourselves more to them and they start to see not only our good sides but our bad ones too.

Many people would argue that the fear of losing your partner should always be felt in relationships; that one should always feel that they don't completely have that person and therefore continuously try hard.
I beg to differ.

I argue that that perception of relationships is immature and that when the fear of losing the other person goes away, that is when the relationship starts.
I don't think you should be constantly worrying that you may lose your partner. It's hard to focus on your own issues and your own life with that constant mindset.
If there is no fear in losing the other person, when you  know you have them, that is a sweet feeling. Yes, you and your partner may try less to impress each other but I don't see why that should matter. Are you constantly trying to impress your friends? Or your family?
Doesn't it feel great to know that you can always count on them? That you can follow your dreams with full support and have someone to fall back on when it doesn't work out? Or would you rather be scared of chasing your dreams in fear that you may lose your partner in the process?

It's an amazing feeling to make plans for the future with someone that you know will stick around. To put your plans into motion and know things will still be okay if they don't go to plan. To know someone so very well, their good and bad traits, to be sure that you aren't just making false promises.

The idea that one should constantly be in fear of losing their partner has been expressed to me by a large number of people. Yes, you should fear losing your partner but you should not be constantly in it. It shouldn't be a common thought; that you may possibly walking on thin ice and any second that ice could crack and break beneath your feet faster than you can comprehend.

I'd rather a relationship built on a solid foundation. Where there is no fear to be ourselves. Where we can merge our hopes and dreams of the future together to great a likely future that won't disappear in the blink of an eye.



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