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Sunday, 2 October 2016

No one is perfect so why are we getting upset when they don't meet perfection?

If moving out has taught me anything, strangely enough, it is that absolutely no one is perfect.
Well, actually, it's not that I didn't necessarily know this already, its more that I didn't completely grasp the entire concept of it and dealing with it.

We all know that perfection is a total false and misleading concept that simply cannot be true. We post quotes on Facebook and Instagram idolising our flaws and yet we try to achieve it anyway with our flawless images.

Anyway, this isn't a rant about social media creating false ideas of people, not at all.

It's about how we have come to the understanding that no one is perfect, and yet we get upset with people for not meeting our expectations anyway.
I lived with my friend for several months and I love her to death. But God knows she is not perfect. And at times she made me feel pretty shitty. But her tendency to overreact and her consistent mood swings is who she is, and is something we can laugh about later when the time has passed.
I wouldn't change this about her. Even if at times it is upsetting. I suck it up, and give her the space she needs because the next day I know will be great, and it won't be long before she is making me laugh until I nearly wet myself and giving me a confidence boost that will radiate in my smile for an entire day.

This is the same with many of my friends. Maybe I am doing it wrong, because when someone in my life upsets me (mildly) by acting a certain way that is simply their way, rather than say something, I let it go. I am not going to argue with them simply because they are not meeting my tendencies of behaviour. As I am sure, I don't meet all of theirs. Because their good traits outweigh the bad, in my perspective. And I love them for who they are. And maybe it isn't all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but their worth it if it means they can be themselves.

But yet I find those in my life often picking out my flaws as if I were a contestant on Miss Universe, including family. Yes, I am often too negative. Yes, sometimes I am lazy and YES I am often way too sarcastic that people don't know I am joking and generally just think I am a bitch. But if you know me well enough, you would know that I am joking and I honestly mean well.

But since when did friendships involve confronting the other person over a small trait within their personality as if it is the end of the world?
Why must people suck the energy from the room because they got slightly offended over something that can so easily be shrugged off or at least explained? Should I apologize for making a joke that can be taken the wrong way by the small minority or should I just be asked what I really meant?
Should I start pointing out their flaws and discuss how it makes me feel sad for a split moment?

I had a friend that I spent every single day with. Even when they were at work I'd visit them on their lunch breaks before meeting them at their house later that night.
I got a really good understanding of them and they weren't perfect either, but they were great, and made me feel good a hell of a lot more than when they made me feel bad.
Sometimes when she spoke though, people would take her the completely wrong way. Including me at first. I always felt as if she was having a go at me and I'd feel confronted but turns out it was just how she often spoke about issues. I had to clarify to other people at times when she spoke with them, knowing they were taking it the wrong way that I often did. I never tried to change this fact about her - just tried to make it better, despite witnessing the sudden change of expression in the person she was talking to, but after explaining what she really meant to say, we would all laugh.

But when I would talk about the bad things in my life, with humour mind you, I was 'too negative'. And I got that. I am at times. But it wasn't as if I was crying. And yeah, maybe I do focus on the bad more than the good at times. I am a pessimist. Unfortunately I was programmed to view the cup as half empty and not half full.

I guess what I want to know is, should we be telling the people in their lives about their flaws so that they can improve and be the best person that they can be?
Or should we suck up their bad and appreciate the good?
Because I guess if the bad is outweighing the good, then leave. They don't have to be in your life and there are many people out there who may even like their bad traits. We are all different after all, including our preferences.

Maybe we need to stop trying to change each other and instead find the people who you love, the good and the bad?
Find someone who's flaws you can handle.

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