Monday, 28 November 2016

To fall in love fast and recklessly or slowly and sensibly?

It's Tuesday, which means blog post day. I have decided to discuss a matter that is something I have been debating with myself and others for quite some time.

I don't have any lovely photographs of my own to add to the mood, so I have included a still image from one of my favorite music videos 'Blue Jeans' by Lana Del Rey just for the sake of it, but also because I kinda think its sort of relevant.

There are great perks to both kinds of falling in love, especially falling fast and recklessly, which is how most of us imagine being in love. 

Falling in love fast and recklessly is the kind of love that poetry and songs are written about. When you have no absolute control and are lifted up to Cloud Nine and everything is so utterly wonderful that it makes you believe in magic. 
It's passionate, and there is fighting and crying but there is also making-up, staying up late talking and their mere presence beside you is appreciated and losing it cannot be fathomed. 

I have found that when asking people this question, on which one they believe is better, it depended quite primarily on their age and experience.
For first time lovers, they'd choose the first one. What's the point in falling in love if it isn't with everything you've got? They'd ask. And that was a fair point.

But when I asked my mother, who had been in love both kinds she answered with, "slowly and sensibly. Passion does not last but unconditional love is permanent". 

I agree with my mother. It is with the fast and reckless love that the old saying, 'love is blind', derived from. You are so blinded by love that you look past the flaws, and when the excitement and passion begins to fade which are the two aspects that practically made the relationship, the flaws aren't so invisible anymore and as it turns out they're impact is much bigger than originally anticipated. If you love with all you've got, it gives the love potential to take everything that you have, after all.

Slowly and sensibly I'll admit sounds boring. But it is this kind of love that you see both sides, the good and the bad, and you fall in love honestly so that there will be no surprises down the line. It takes time.
It's the kind of love that not only shares all the affection and fun, but the living; like paying bills and mortgages and all that other boring stuff adults are forced to do.
It's the kind of love you can count on and don't have to worry about losing over a petty argument that exploded and got taken completely out of proportion.

I believe we must all experience both. Because the first one is the fast and reckless falling in love is the one we want. It will also teach us a great deal. Because if you do love with everything you've got, when it's lost, you'll lose everything you had. And you know what? That's okay! Because finding who you are and picking yourself up is a great learning experience. You'll also find pieces you didn't even know you had. And you might make something better with all that's collected.

And you'll probably find that in the end, a love that is slow and sensible is the one you need. And you might not want it any other way. 

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